


Backsliding

by Idhren15



Series: Four Swords Collection [3]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Based on a song, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, M/M, Oneshot, Phone Calls, idk what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idhren15/pseuds/Idhren15
Summary: Vio knows he shouldn't be thinking ofhim. Too much went wrong, and they both agreed to go their separate ways.But it's so easy to fall back again, to call that number he should've forgotten long ago...so why am I 2am picking up my phone, and you're standing in my porch light,backsliding
Relationships: Shadow Link/Vio Link
Series: Four Swords Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051373
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Backsliding

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off the Carrie Underwood song, 'Backsliding'. The song reminds me of Vidow, and I just had to write a little something from that... so, here it is!

_So why am I_ _2am picking up my phone_

_And you’re standing in my porch light_

_Backsliding_

_Wearing your old t-shirt in the morning_

_It feels so right_

_Backsliding_

_We say we won't_

_But then we do_

_The same old thing falling right back in_

_Say it's gonna be the last time_

_Backsliding_

* * *

They agreed that it was over, that they couldn’t even be friends, that seeing each other was out of the question. Vio knew it was what had to be done - he was getting far too attached, and after everything with Vaati, Green almost dying, all that followed… his friends needed him to have his head straight.

What they had couldn’t be called a relationship. It was built on lies, really, lies and deception as Vio found himself slipping further and further from his goal, struggling to grasp anything as he fell.

Somehow, the plan succeeded, Vaati was imprisoned, and Vio was left to pick up the pieces of _him_.

“We shouldn’t do this,” _he_ said, avoiding eye contact.

And Vio agreed, because their hearts were broken, and their paths were too far apart to ever fit right. Vio had a place with the other three, hailed a hero; _he_ had nothing but the mess of his and Vaati’s crimes, that Vio still felt guilty over.

But _he_ wasn’t innocent - Vio was hurt, too, and he recognised the signs that things were becoming a little dangerous.

So they parted ways. Vio said goodbye to scarlet eyes and fanged smiles, to purple hair and black shirts, to the one he’d fallen far too hard for. He promised himself - promised his friends- that he would move on. Focus on his work. Help his friends out. Do something _good_ again.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about the past.

Vio had deleted the number from his phone, but not before noting it down on paper. It was a small sticky-note, something so bright and innocent yet oh-so-tempting. But he shouldn’t. He can’t slip up, can’t let himself fall down again, but it’s one month then two then three then almost six months and Vio can’t stand it anymore.

He’s awake, in the middle of the night, tired and miserable and wishing _he_ was there, to wrap his arms around Vio, just like he used to.

Vio wants to say it’s impossible, but he knows that’s a lie.

He lies in his bed, which only feels colder by the minute, and gives in to the temptation. It’s 2am and he’s dialling the number from the note, fingers trembling a little as the tone sounds.

“Hey,” a sleepy voice sounds, and _goddess_ Vio has missed hearing that -

“Shadow,” he breathes.

"Yeah, that's me," he grumbles, "Though have you _seen_ the time, because I just did, and it's stupidly early, or late, however you want to put it-"

"I'm sorry," Vio says quickly, "I… I shouldn't have called."

His thumb drifts down to the red button, slowly, reluctantly, but stops when there is a sharp gasp from the other end.

"Vio?" he whispers.

Vio should hate the way that _he_ says his name, but his stomach flutters and it's quite the opposite.

"Yeah," he answers, then clears his throat, "Yes, it's me."

"We agreed to stay apart."

Vio's chest aches. "I know."

"… I'm glad you called."

The ache subsides a little. "You are?"

"Yep. Even if it is at a really stupid hour, though I'm not surprised it's _you_ awake at this time," Shadow chuckles.

Vio's heart skips at the sound.

"I didn't stay up studying this time," he admits, "I just couldn't sleep."

"I thought you had no trouble sleeping - oh," Shadow trails off, no doubt thinking the same as Vio. That Vio had struggled to sleep as long as he could recall, but he used to sleep fine with Shadow. It was something that every onlooker deemed unhealthy, but Vio believes it was the opposite. His insomnia came before Shadow; he was not the cause of it.

"So." Shadow clears his throat, and Vio realises that he hasn't said anything more.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly.

"For what? For calling? Or for everything else?"

"Shadow-" his name dies in Vio's throat, and he quickly moves the phone away so that the man doesn't hear the sob that escapes him. It's stupid, Vio knows he shouldn't have called, shouldn't be getting upset at Shadow's tone - after all, he deserves it. He played on Shadow's feelings, so they could get close to Vaati and take him down.

He has no right to be getting upset, when all this mess is his fault.

"Vio. Vi? I'm sorry too, I shouldn't - ugh, I know I was harsh, can we just blame it on me being tired? I'm not thinking. I'm sorry."

Shadow's voice is quieter, the phone lying on Vio's bed, no longer in his hand.

"It wasn't your fault, okay? Not all of it."

Vio doesn't know what to say. After all this... Shadow is just going to lie to him, _again_?

He shouldn't have expected any different.

He should never have called him in the first place.

Shadow's still talking, but Vio reaches out a trembling hand and taps the red button on screen, silencing him.

It's okay. He's okay.

...He's not okay.

Vio feels so pathetic, so _weak_ , as he rolls over and buries his face in his pillow, tears soaking into the fabric. He hates the way that what was barely a conversation has set off this pain in his chest. He hates the way that even the slightest harsh word from Shadow cuts directly into his usually-guarded heart.

He hates the way that Shadow makes him _feel_.

Emotions have always been something that Vio has struggled with; everyone sees him as cool and collected, when in truth, he is numb and confused.

Until Shadow.

Until he fell, and discovered how to _feel_ , experiencing both the joys and the pains.

If being with Shadow was so wrong...then why did Vio only feel _right_ with him?

Vio hugs himself, trying to soothe the ache in his chest, a constant pain that he's only made worse by his stupid, desperate actions tonight. He knows he should try and sleep, but he can't get the images out of his head; of messy purple hair, sun dancing over tanned cheeks, carefree laughs...

Something knocks against his window, and he sits bolt upright, his heart pounding. A quick glance at his phone, still lying on the bed - it's almost 3am, and he has a couple of missed calls, as well as a text that lights up the room.

_'I'm coming over.'_

He nearly falls out of bed in his haste, halfway down the stairs when he decides to run back and grab his dressing gown, quickly wrapping it around to hide his bare chest. But then he stops and stares at the front door, trying to actually _think_ about what he's doing.

If Shadow is out there...

 _This is wrong, this is wrong, turn around and go back upstairs,_ he tries to tell himself. He's smart, and that would be the smart thing to do, to pretend that the phone call never happened, that he didn't hear the knocking.

He's smart, but not tonight.

Vio unlocks the door, and Shadow is standing there, bathed in the porch light.

And he looks exactly the same as when they separated, all those months ago. A dark beanie, yellow-grey in the artificial light, pulled down over his wild purple hair; leather jacket on top of a ragged shirt; tight black jeans stuffed into high boots.

Shadow's figure blurs, and it takes Vio a moment to realise he's crying. Then leather-clad arms are holding him, guiding his head to rest on a warm shoulder as an ugly sob slips out.

"Hey, Vio, it's okay. I'm here," Shadow soothes, and gently guides them inside, not letting go of him. As the door clicks shut, Vio manages to reclaim some control, and slowly steps away from Shadow.

"You...you shouldn't be here. We agreed-"

"To hell with what we agreed! You called me, and I'm so glad you did, because I'm in pain."

Vio blinks and rubs his eyes. "Do you need to see the doctor?"

"No, you idiot!" Shadow grabs his hand, and Vio freezes. "I'm hurting, like I know you're hurting. Because I _miss_ you Vi. More than that, I _need_ you."

"Oh," Vio breathes.

"I miss you, and I'm too much of a coward to make the first move. I thought you'd moved on, that maybe you'd found someone to be happy with, instead of having to put up with my mess," Shadow says.

" _Your_ mess? Have you seen the state of me?" Vio rubs at his eyes again, wishing that the tears would just _stop_ , it's embarrassing.

"Alright, we're both messes together," Shadow grins, a familiar glint in his eyes, and it makes Vio's chest ache more.

"We can't-"

"Vi, stop. Let me talk, as you _clearly_ didn't listen on the phone. I can't believe I'm having to be the sensible one," Shadow grumbles, then continues, "I meant what I said, that it wasn't all your fault. We played each other. I wanted you to join me; you wanted me to get you close to Vaati. We played each other, and fell in love along the way, if I can be so bold."

Vio's breath hitches, but he nods. "Yeah. Yeah, we fell in love. But it wasn't-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Shadow interrupts, scowling slightly, "don't you dare say it wasn't real, else we wouldn't be _here_ , would we?"

Vio shakes his head.

"I just want to say... we had to step back, before, because of the shadow Vaati cast over us."

"Because of everyone saying it was unhealthy," Vio adds quietly.

"Yeah. They did say that. But we have another chance, Vi. We can start from the beginning. No Vaati this time, no plots and deceptions between us," Shadow offers, and Vio wants so _badly_ to believe him.

But he can't. He can't trust so blindly, not again.

The hesitation must be clear on his face, as Shadow's face falls, and he lets go of Vio's hand.

"Or not, I understand. I can go-"

"Stay," Vio blurts out.

Confusion dances in scarlet eyes. "You want me to stay?"

"Just for tonight. Please."

 _What are you doing?_ the voice of reason screams. He ignores it.

"Okay," Shadow says.

And for the first time in a long while, Vio smiles.

* * *

_I keep asking myself, keep asking myself_

_Why do I need you and nobody else?_

_If we're not meant to be_

_Then why do we keep_

_Backsliding?_

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Vio does accept Shadow's offer, and they get back together. The fic just seemed to end nicely here, being a little open, and I currently don't have any more plans for this. 
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading, & feel free to drop a comment! :D


End file.
